


Wish I’d Off Myself Instead (Wish I Was Never Born)

by CherriesAndRaindrops



Category: Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Autistic Jack, Canon Era, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Tickle Fights, meltdowns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2021-01-24 16:20:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21341134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CherriesAndRaindrops/pseuds/CherriesAndRaindrops
Summary: After escaping the clutches of Snyder, Crutchie tries to comfort Jack in any way possible.
Relationships: Crutchie/Jack Kelly
Comments: 3
Kudos: 46





	Wish I’d Off Myself Instead (Wish I Was Never Born)

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Implied child abuse.
> 
> People like to treat Crutchie like a pure uwu shy sensitive boi because he’s disabled.  
So since I’m autistic, I made Jack autistic.  
Whatcha gonna do now, hUH?!
> 
> I’m pretty sure you guys all know where the title’s from.

“You can’t run forever, Kelly!”

Jack sprinted down the street as fast as his long legs could take him, not even bothering to wipe the tears off his face. Moments like this made him wish he had just succumbed to one of the colds he caught way long before he was a newsie.

He rapidly blinked, attempting to calm himself down. It always soothed him when he did that, for some odd reason, but it made sense. He never really felt truly normal.

He would always rock back-and-forth when he was a kid, and flap his hands when he got really excited. No one really knew why this was all so appealing to him, but they never got on his case about it.

Until he went to the Refuge.

—

Jack was only ten, and yet, he barely felt alive.

He desperately rocked back and forth, but a lot more aggressive than normal. If he couldn’t stop the aching in his bones, then maybe he could calm himself down.

He knew he was next.

He saw what this Snyder guy did to the two boys and the pretty girl with blonde hair that shared a cell with him. And he wasn’t ready.

“Calm yourself, Jack.” The pretty girl said (oh, what was her name again? Ethel? Annabelle?). “He’ll be more aggressive if you show fear.”

The loud clomping down the hall sent a chill down the boy’s spine.

“NO!” He bawled. “NO NO NO! I DON’T WANNA GO!”

The pretty girl looked at her feet. “I’m.. I’m sorry.”

Jack’s cries only got louder and louder as the shadow got closer.

He squeezed his eyes shut...

—

Jack bursted into the Lodging House, slamming the door as fast as he could.

He was safe, but the adrenaline and fear weren’t gone.

“‘Ey, Jack!”

Race.

“‘Ey.”

The taller boy titled his head. “Ya feelin’ okay? Yer lookin’ like you just saw a ghost.”

Jack wiped his eyes with his blue sleeve. “Yea, I’se doin’ pretty swell.” He quickly started scurrying upstairs, not looking back once.

Race knew in his heart that his friend couldn’t be farer from swell.

Luckily, a very certain short, cheerful boy with a crutch had just come through the door:

—

Crutchie had felt a lot of heartbreak in his life.

But none of it compared to peeking into one of the bunk rooms and seeing Jack sitting in the corner, silently crying while rocking back and forth.

This wasn’t a rare occurrence. These kinds of things happened to the leader of Manhattan all the time. He usually hid from people, though. Crutchie didn’t mind comforting Jack, his top priority being to keep him comfortable and smiling.

So, he moved as quickly as he could over to his lover, asking, “What ‘appened, Jackie?”

“S-s-snydah da Spider.” Jack stutterd. “He... h-he almost-“

He turned into a complete mess again, whimpering as he hid his face behind his hands. “It was a-already so l-loud, and I just f-felt trapped.”

Crutchie nodded, sitting down next to his lover. “Can I touch ya?”

Jack practically threw himself onto the blond, who took it as a sign to wrap him up in his arms.

The taller boy wailed into Crutchie’s shoulder, saying that he was stupid and probably deserved everything he got.

“Shhh, don’t talk like dat.” He whispered, tracing circles across his back. “None of it was yer fault, and ya sure as hell ain’t stupid.”

To Crutchie, Jack was perfect in every single way. His eyes shined brighter than the sun, and he had a heart made of gold, and no meltdown like this could ever change his mind. 

Sometimes the blond wondered why Jack fell head over heels in love with him in the first place. 

— 

Jack was calm now. 

He was lying on one of the bunks, fiddling with the ends of his sleeves. It always took him a bit to gather himself back together. He only left his little hiding spot when someone from downstairs called him, or if Crutchie wanted to cuddle.

“Jackie...” 

“Yea, sunshine?” 

“TICKLE ATTACK!” 

Jack squealed as he felt Crutchie sink his fingers into his sides, wriggling them around and wrapping his good leg over his lover. But he didn’t mind. The two of them had quite a few tickle fights, and never once did he actually attempt to squirm away. 

“Crutcheheheie! Nohohoho!” 

“Awww! You’s adorable!” The blond grinned. 

“Plehehease stop!”

“Oh, fine!” Crutchie agreed to Jack’s request, sitting up and putting his fists on his hips. “But only ‘cause ya said please!” 

Jack couldn’t help but giggled as the shorter boy placed a kiss on his forehead. 

Moments like this made him happy he was born. 

And with Crutchie by his side, he knew that he was always loved and cared for. 


End file.
